Growing On Me
by Zolac no Miko
Summary: Ryou and Bakura are two halves of the same soul, and therefore must live in the same body. Unfortunately, neither of them can think of a worse possible fate. Is it possible that they might overcome their mutual hatred and actually like each other? Ha.
1. Blood and Tears

Hidey ho! This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh! fic, and the most serious thing I have written up to date. I think my strength is really in humor, but I really ought to practice some of the other kind of writing, you know? Not like I would keep this completely humorless. Life is a big messy stew of comedy and tragedy. Anyhoo, it's a Bakura and Ryou fic. I just love them to death, really I do! They're both so pretty.... Drool.... I've always been intrigued by them. You know, with Yugi and his yami, they get along swimmingly, but with these guys.... Well, Bakura pretty much makes Ryou's life a living hell. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they're kind of stuck together, so I thought it would be interesting to see how their relationship evolves. Mostly I just want them to throw themselves at each other.

Anyhoo, this story is inspired by the song, "Growing On Me," by The Darkness. I think Koneko Shido (now Koneko Cain) mentioned something about how it's perfect for Bakura and Ryou. I went and listened to it and was like, "Hey, how about that? It is!" I brought this up with Kuro no Hoshi and she was like, "Dude, you should write a fic!" At first I didn't see a fic coming from it; it just kind of described their relationship as I saw it. But the idea stayed in my brain and wouldn't go away, and suddenly a plot materialized. So I'm like, "Crap. Now I actually have to write the damn thing." Really I'm enjoying it immensely. The story is written in first person, alternating between Ryou's POV and Bakura's. Changes in perspective will be noted by the little stars between sections.

This fanfiction is Hikari Written, Yami Approved.

Disclaimer: I do not own the kick-ass song "Growing On Me." This song belongs to the kick-ass band The Darkness. I do not own The Darkness. That would be weird. I do not own Bakura or Ryou. They belong to Yu-Gi-Oh! I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, there would be a lot less dueling and a lot more bishies making out. There are many anime bishies I believe are straight. Most of the YGO! characters do not fall into this category. Look at what they wear!

Warnings: This fic is rated R. I rated it this way for a reason. This chapter doesn't have anything deserving of that rating, but it will definitely be R in later chapters. I'm not gonna say, "Children under 17 go away;" like, how many rated-R movies did I see before I was 17? But just be warned, okay? Also not evident in this chapter, but will eventually be evident, is that this fic will be heading in a shounen ai/yaoi direction. If this bothers you, tough crap. Go read something else. For those of you remaining, this fic will not be containing a lemon. As disappointing as this may be to my inner rebel, I rather like my other fics and do not wish to be booted. And in any case, I think any attempt I would make at a lemon would be highly embarrassing and cause people to hate me. So if you can't stand a story leading up to a lemon and then stopping, tough crap. Go read something else.

And without further ado (because, as usual, there has been far too much ado already)....

Growing On Me

Chapter 1: Blood and Tears

I awoke abruptly. Nothing had startled me; just one moment, I had been dreaming, and the next moment, I was conscious, and could no longer remember what I had been dreaming about.

My eyes still closed, I sighed, feeling my hair dance across my face, and wondered what had woken me. Then I inhaled, and I could smell it. Blood. The metallic tang of blood and the stench of something else, a strong, foreign mix of dirt, garbage, sweat, and human excrement. Fear and dread poured into my stomach and lay there, freezing. Oh God, no....

I opened my eyes. By the angle of the light through the windows, it was morning. I sat up, and my pale silver bangs fell in front of my eyes, the tips sticky with blood. I looked down at my hands. Blood. I was wearing a coat I had never seen before, dirty and also soaked with blood. The cold feeling in my stomach spread, squeezing my heart and tingling in my fingers. I began to breathe faster as panic set in.

Letting out a choked whimper, I looked up, and saw - _him_. He was sprawled lazily in my desk chair, lightly transparent, his feet on my desk. His bangs, identical in color to mine, fell across his face, and his eyes were in shadow. I knew he was awake, though. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Bakura," I whispered, choking. "Bakura - _what have you done?!_"

o o o

Nnngh. Wonderful. Let the whining begin.

I showed him my teeth. I never smile or grin; I bare my fangs. "Rise and shine, vessel," I said.

They have such bizarre expressions in this time. I am particularly fond of "wakey wakey, eggs and bacey." I got that one from a television program. Amazing learning tool, this television.

He was saying something. I focused my eyes on him again. He had gotten up from the bed and was now staring fixedly at me. I stared back.

I am good at staring.

"Well?" he blurted out.

"I wasn't listening."

He reached up to clutch at his hair, whimpering in distress. "Bakura!" he squeaked, slightly hysterical. "I went to sleep last night and everything was normal and I wake up covered in blood and wearing - where the hell did you _get_ this?" He looked down at his coat, then looked up at me again. "Bakura - _what did you do?!_"

"I went shopping."

He stared me, incredulous. "_Shopping!?_"

"We were out of milk, so I went to go get some."

"You mean, you stole some," he said, glaring. Or trying to.

I rolled my eyes. "Duh. Well I wasn't about to pay for it."

"Bakura!" he screeched. I winced. "How did you manage to get us covered in blood on a shopping trip to get milk!?"

"Well I had to kill this guy on the way home."

He froze, becoming more pale than usual. "Wh-what?" he stammered.

I yawned, stretching. I hate telling long stories, almost as much as hearing them. "I was taking a shortcut back here through an alley," I explained, reasonably, "and this stinky drunk guy got in my way. He was pestering me for money, wouldn't leave me alone. So I knifed him." I shrugged.

The vessel sat down on the floor. _Hard_. "You... _knifed_ him?" he squeaked.

I nodded. "Yeah, he was being really annoying. But I lifted his jacket, pretty nifty, huh?" I showed my teeth again.

The vessel looked horrified, quickly ripping off the coat and throwing it from him. Whatever. I _like_ the guy's jacket.

I watched with disgust as the pathetic creature shrank in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in his hands. Oh bleeding Ra in the heavens, _tell_ me he's not going to start crying again. I crossed my arms and glared at him, waiting.

He was silent for a long time. I got bored of watching his unmoving form, and began studying the patterns in the ceiling cracks. There are some quite fascinating ceiling constellations in this apartment. The bedroom is dominated by a very large bunny, but there is a smaller shape directly over the bed which is definitely a canopic jar. Containing lungs. That stupid pointy-haired pharaoh's lungs. The cover of the jar is in the shape of Horus' head, beak and all.

"I hate you." His voice was quiet, and muffled by his hands, but I could hear the anger in it.

"Oh come on, it's not like he was anyone important or anything," I growled.

His head snapped up. His eyes were wet. "It doesn't matter if he's important!" he exclaimed. "He's a human being, Bakura!" Tears began streaming down his face.

Ecchh. Honestly.

"Bakura," he sobbed, "can't you do anything without _hurting_ people? You've taken over my body, tried to harm my friends, and now - !" He shook his head. "What if somebody saw? What if the cops come looking for me? You can't just take over my body whenever you feel like it and - you can't just go around killing random homeless guys, you can't! You can't!"

I was annoyed by his tears and tired of his whining. "Oh yes I can!" I snarled, leaving the desk chair and growling in his face. "I can do whatever I want, and I can kill whenever I want, and I can do whatever the hell I like with your body, _vessel_. You can't do a damned thing to stop me and you know it!" And with that I disappeared into the ring.

o o o

Curse him, curse him, curse him.

I knelt on the cold tile of the bathroom, leaning over the edge of the tub to scrub and scrape at my hands under the faucet. Everything was wet, my hands, my face, my clothes; my hair dripped wine pink droplets into the cold bathwater.

There was no longer any blood on my hands that I could see, but I could _smell_ it, everywhere, all over me. It made me sick. I had to wash and wash and wash my hands until they were clean again. He had killed a man with these hands... with _my_ hands!

My eyes were stinging. No! Bloody hell, I will _not_ start crying again! I will not cry! I won't - !

"I hate him!" I sobbed. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him - !" He's a monster. He's evil. He's a murderer; he killed a man! Why? Why? Why? What did I do? Why am I cursed with this demon?

Ishizu and Yami - Yugi's yami - they say he's a part of me, my other half. My darker half. My yami.

How can that be? It's impossible. How can part of me be something so evil and cruel? It can't be true... he is not my other half! He's just some bad dream I'm having!

I cried for an hour, screaming my hatred for him into the empty apartment. No one heard me. There was no one there. I was alone... except for him.

I think the bastard was sleeping.

o o o

Notes: There, how was that? Kind of short, ne? Don't worry, the second one's longer. I'm only about 1/3 through writing it and it's already longer. This one's kind of an into, and explanation of what things are like with them.

Some fics depict Bakura as this psycho who randomly kills people and ritualistically tortures small animals for fun. I love this in humorous fics, but I don't think he's actually like that. Mostly I don't think he'd find killing small animals fun. He'd be like, "Eh, what's the point?" So anyway, all I've seen him do in the show is attempt to send a few people to the Shadow Realm now and again. He hasn't actually ever killed anyone. I mean, he has, but not since Ryou's known him. He hasn't actually taken Ryou's body and shoved a sharp object into someone's innards. So Ryou's kinda freaked out. Plus, I would be freaked out if I woke up inexplicably soaked in human blood, wouldn't you? Yes, I know, Kuro-chan, but not everyone's like you.

The deal with yamis and hikaris... as per the show, when one soul is inhabiting the body, the other one is either hanging out nearby or hiding in the sennen/millennium item. Outside the body, they cannot be seen by anyone else, nor can they interact with the environment in any way. They just kind of float about and are transparent. Inside the sennen item... well, it's kind of like this other dimension that's kind of in the sennen item and/or the brain, or something. It's highly confusing. They can either watch what's going on outside the body or hang out in their soul rooms, which is where they sleep. In this dimension, the souls may interact as solid bodies would in the real world.

Get it? It's kind of confusing.

Also, my yami/beta-reader Kuro no Hoshi would like me to point out that the Horus canopic jar does not contain the lungs, nor are the lungs saved after mummification anyway. Bakura probably doesn't know what organs go where, nor do I think he much cares; he's mostly concerned with stealing gold and gemstones and such. So back off, Egypt nuts!


	2. Can't Get Rid of You

Well, here's Chapter 2. Sorry it took so long to get it out. You know, life calls, and whatnot.

Disclaimer: I do not Yu-Gi-Oh!, or any of the characters from that show. This should be obvious to any self-respecting retard.

Warnings: This fic is rated R. Not NC-17, not PG13, R. This chapter in particular contains naughty language and some dialogue that might not exactly be appropriate for mixed company. Squares and small children, you've been warned.

Chapter 2: Can't Get Rid of You

I hate this world of the future. It's boring. There's absolutely nothing to do. In the old days there were any number of tombs to rob. Now, there is nothing I can steal with my natural-born sneakiness that is worth stealing; all the good stuff is protected by a magic I don't understand. I tried to do a job on one of those, whatchamacallits... museums. I figured, they'd gone and done all the hard stuff, robbed the tombs and set up all the treasure right in front of me; these people were just begging to be robbed. But when I tried to get into the building, I found it was guarded by demons that shrieked at me and flashed brightly like lightning.

I pick pockets sometimes, but it's really not worth it. Nobody carries gold anymore. The twit insists those sheets of paper and those flimsy coins with holes in them are money, but I don't see how they can be worth anything.

So anyway, there I was, bored off my mind, with nothing to steal. I was sprawled across the couch watching television with the sound off. It was some program that involved people running headlong into brick walls. I don't pretend to understand the people of this time, honestly I don't.

For some reason, it irritates the twit when I watch with the sound off. It used to be that I was disturbed by the notion of voices coming from a box. Now mostly I do it because it irritates the twit.

Irritating the twit isn't exactly fun, or even interesting, but it was something to do to pass the time. I searched for him with my mind; he was awake. Goody. I bared my fangs, then retreated inside of the ring.

I headed for the door on the left; the door to _his_ soul room. Upon entering, I had to take a moment to suppress my upchuck reflex.

I _hate_ his room. Like mine, it has brick walls and a bed in the corner, which he was currently occupying. Unlike mine, there were vases of white flowers everywhere.

"Honestly, _vessel_," I sneered, "you're such a _girl_. All these flowers– this place smells like some whore's cheap perfume."

He lay curled up on his side, his back to me. He said, "I didn't put them here. They're just here."

"Do you think if you grew some balls, the flowers would disappear?"

He sighed. "Go away, Bakura."

"Yeah, why don't you work on that, growing some balls. And while you're at it, why don't you get a tan?" I moved so I was standing next to his bed, staring down at him. "I guess that's why they say you're a _hikari_– you're so white you're practically glowing."

"I want to be alone," he said, sounding irritated.

"Look, you're transparent. I can see the veins beneath your skin," I continued, tracing a blue line down his arm.

He flinched away from my touch. "Don't touch me!"

I bared my fangs. "Why not?" I challenged, pointedly poking at him with my finger.

"Everything you touch dies."

"Well then I guess I'd better be careful next time I whack off," I shot back.

He shuddered.

Aha, it seems I have struck a nerve. "What, does it bother you? When I masturbate." I eyed him for a response. He lay still. "I'm afraid that after 5000 years alone in that Ra-damned ring I began to feel the need for certain... pleasurable stimuli." I think he just twitched.... "Of course, if you prefer, I could relieve my... urges with some whore, but I think the prostitutes of your time have a few more diseases than the ones I was familiar with."

I gazed at him thoughtfully. He continued to lie immobile and silent.

"You've never done it, have you?" I realized. "Fucked or whacked off or anything. Well, I mean, obviously not since I moved in; I would have noticed." I smirked. "But I mean, before me.... You've never done any of that stuff, right?"

Silent. Motionless. I sneered in disgust.

"I take it back. You're not a girl. Even women need to satisfy themselves once in a while. You're a _child_. A weak, pathetic, underdeveloped child."

I can see I'm bothering him, but he's not responding at all. This could get boring.

I leaned down to whisper in his ear. "You like it don't you? You like how it feels. Admit it, _vessel_. You love it when I pleasure our body. It feels _good_. What are you so afraid of?" I bared my fangs slowly. "I could help you, if you want," I hissed, trailing a finger up his thigh.

His arm whipped back, and before I could dodge I caught an elbow in my face. I backed away swiftly. He was sitting up in bed, his chest heaving and anger smoldering in his chocolate eyes. "Bakura. Get. The fuck. Out of my room," he snarled.

Oooh, now this is fun.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him up so we were standing nose to nose. "You sound like you want to fight me," I growled, glaring into his eyes. "What, are you going to hit me? Is that it?"

His eyes dropped away from mine. I released him, backing away with my arms wide. "Here, I'll let you, if you want. I'll give you a free shot. Hit me if you want to, hard as you can. Right here," I said, tapping my left jawbone with a finger.

He glared at me, his jaw clenched, breathing deeply in and out. His fingers twitched, clenching and relaxing. I've never seen such a murderous look in his eyes. Interesting. He curled his hand into a fist; his whole body was tense. Then he relaxed his hand and looked away.

"Coward!" I snarled, shoving him forcefully. He reeled backwards, crying out as the back of his head impacted the brick wall. He crumpled to the floor, drawing in his knees and whimpering as he cradled his head.

Ecch. Not again. I hate it when he cries. Honestly, what a pathetic creature. I stood above him with my arms folded, sneering disgustedly down at him. "Tell me you're not going to start crying again. You little snot," I spat. "You're disgusting. What's more, you're boring." I strode to the doorway, then looked back on his piteous form. "I'm going to go take a nap. Whine all you want, but do it quietly. You'd better make sure your pitiful mewling doesn't wake me," I threatened, narrowing my eyes. Then I left, slamming the door shut behind me.

o o o

I have to get rid of him. He has to go. I can't do this anymore.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?!" I screamed. Or tried to. It came out as a whisper, choked back for fear of _him_, for fear of what he might do to me. If I woke him, if I woke him from his fucking _nap_–

"Bastard," I hissed, anger flooding into me, replacing the fear. I have to get rid of him.

"But how?!" I whispered again, despairing. How many bloody times has the pharaoh tried to banish him to the Shadow Realm? He just keeps coming back! There must be another way....

I thought quickly. Okay. He's a spirit. How do you get rid of someone who has no body?

He has a body. _My_ body. He's a spirit who lives in my body and I need to get him out.

I need an exorcist.

I shook my head. That's not a real solution. Those kinds of things only happen in stories and movies....

But the movies are based on real life.

I stood up, trying not to think what I had just thought, trying not to _hope_....

I walked over to my door and opened it. I stared at the forbidding image of his door. Directly across the hallway from mine, it looked exactly the same, and yet... darker. I felt I could see shadows clinging to it.

Swallowing hard, I stepped forward, laying my hand on the doorknob. I closed my eyes, breathed in, breathed out. I listened. I heard no noises from within. Drawing my breath in slowly, I turned the knob and went in.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. There are torches high up on the walls, yet somehow they always make his room seem _darker_. I peered into the shadows of the darkest back corner, where his bed is, but couldn't see anything. For all I knew he was awake in the shadows, watching, waiting, silent, staring.... I shuddered.

Get a hold of yourself, Ryou. He's just a human, like you. A freaky, violent, 5000 year old son of a bitch, but only a human. He is _not_ the boogie monster.

I had to stifle a laugh. The boogie monster? What am I, eight?

I walked slowly, stealthily, toward the black void of the far corner. My breath sounded unnaturally loud in my ears. The blackness filled my vision, the shadows playing tricks on my eyes. I blinked hard a few times, stopping in my tracks.

Was it here? I scanned the bricks at my feet, trying to make sense of the shifting shadows. The darkness closed around me, fogging my vision, disorienting me. I _hate_ his room. It gives me a headache.

I took another step and saw what I was looking for. Right at the edge of light and shadow is a short step down. It really is quite small, only six inches to the sunken floor. By some trick of the light it's damn near impossible to see, unless you know to look for it. It's a petty, malicious little thing, not enough to hurt you seriously- unless you're _really_ unlucky-, but enough to give you a few bruises when you stumble over it. At the very least, he'd know you were coming.

Very carefully, I stepped down into the blackness and approached his bed. There he was, stretched out on his bed, fast asleep. I took a step closer, looking down on him.

How strange... he looks so different when he sleeps. I gazed at him, wondering. The lines of his face were softer, gentler. His entire body was relaxed and defenseless. He looked so peaceful. So... vulnerable. One could almost forget....

Yes. One could _almost_ forget that he was a neurotic, homicidal freak who was ruining my life. I glared at his peacefully sleeping form. He sighed, mumbling in his sleep.

I will be rid of you soon. And I will not miss you at all.

I woke up inside of my body, finding it sprawled on the couch in front of the television. It flashed silent images of someone running up a steep hill, dodging fake boulders. Not this show again. He watches such crap! I switched it off as the "someone" got clobbered.

Okay. What first? I have to do this quick, while he's sleeping....

I yanked open a drawer beneath the phone, pulling out the telephone directory. I flipped through the pages looking for "exorcists." No exorcists. Well, duh, they wouldn't have it listed in the phone book like that, would they?

I thought for a second, then flipped to "churches." I scanned the pages hastily. Curses. Well, what was I expecting? "The Church of St. Augustine... services Saturday and Sunday from 8-9 a.m.... weddings, funerals, blessings... specializes in exorcisms." Right.

I yanked at my hair, anxious and frustrated. What am I supposed to do, try one at random? I've never even _been_ inside a church!

Dejected, I sank down on the couch. I sprang up again immediately. There's a Buddhist temple not too far from here! Of course, they do exorcisms too! And it's not like he's Satan or something, just some random stupid obake. I rushed to the door, grabbing a coat as I went out.

The air was bitterly cold, but I hardly felt it as I rushed through the night-darkened streets. It's only a mile or so away; if I can just get there...!

o o o

I woke up abruptly, feeling wide awake but very disoriented. I scanned my room quickly. Something's wrong here.... Why is there so much adrenaline in my system?

I'm moving. My body's moving. Hmmm, I wonder what _he's_ up to....

I emerged from the ring onto a dark city street. The twit was walking _extremely_ fast.

"_Vessel_," I hissed, "just where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Bakura!" he squeaked, whirling around to face me.

"Well?" I prodded, after pause. He was just staring at me, wide-eyed, like some pathetic frightened bunny.

"N-nothing, I'm just going for a walk," he stammered.

Oh, yeah, you're not acting suspiciously at all. "It's the middle of the night," I reminded him, catching his gaze and holding it.

He swallowed. "I needed some fresh air," he declared.

"Mm-hmm."

His eyes hardened. "I guess I'm still a bit angry. Go figure," he snapped.

I drifted closer to him, peering into his eyes. He stared back, unable to look away. "There's more to it than that, isn't there, vessel? What could you be doing that's so secret you have to wait until I'm sleeping, hmmm?" I narrowed my eyes.

The tiniest wrinkle on his forehead betrayed him. I sneered. "You left the door open, slick. Came to tuck me in, did you?"

His eyes widened, just a bit. I showed my fangs. "Aha. Not so clever, are you? But where _could_ you be going?" I released his eyes, turning to inspect my surroundings. "There's really not much here... except... is that a _temple_ up on that hill ahead of us?" I narrowed my eyes. "Why are you sneaking off to a temple, _vessel_?"

He avoided my eyes, his jaw clamped tightly shut.

"Vessel, my vessel," I hissed, drifting closer still, "you wouldn't... you _couldn't_ be trying to get rid of me... could you?"

I could see the pulse in his neck, beating rapidly. Then he turned, looking directly into my eyes. I could see the fury smoldering in their depths. "Try and stop me," he snarled. Then he whirled and headed towards the temple, almost running, dragging me along with him.

I laughed. "Are you serious? You think _they_ can get rid of me?"

He said nothing, only continued to march rapidly uphill.

I laughed again, longer and louder. "Those pathetic _children_ wouldn't know what to do with me! I'm stronger than anything they've ever seen! Exorcise me... ha! They can kill themselves trying!"

He hesitated, but kept walking.

"Ask yourself, vessel, do you honestly think those half-witted, incompetent monklings could ever possibly succeed where the mighty and all-powerful pharaoh has tried again and again and always failed?!"

He stopped abruptly. I watched him closely. He turned to me, his eyes in shadow. "I have no choice but to try." He raised his eyes to mine. "I _will_ get rid of you, Bakura, and the monks will help me!"

He didn't sound very convinced. I laughed, low in my throat. "It's futile, vessel. You might as well try to destroy the ring."

Involuntarily he looked down to where it hung about his neck. He reached up and clasped it tightly, as if he would tear it from his neck and fling it away from him.

It was all I needed. Gathering myself together tightly, I rushed towards him, pushing against him, my spirit against his. I shoved him out of our body and onto the asphalt. From within our body I glared down at him, to where I had pushed him, to where he lay, shocked and transparent, staring up at me.

I held the ring, baring my fangs in triumph. "Fool," I hissed, "you've tried that before, or don't you remember? That dolt _Honda_ tried to throw it away. _It didn't work_." I leaned down close to his face. "Face it, _vessel_. There's nothing you can do, nothing that can help you. You can't get rid of the ring. And _you can't get rid of me_."

o o o

Notes:

Well, it took me long enough, but I've posted the second chapter. As promised, it's a bit longer, and it's got a bit more meat in it. Next chapter will feature some original characters! No, this will not be a Mary Sue fic. These characters do not in any way resemble me or my friends. Zolac forbid (shudder).

Anyway, did anybody recognize the program Bakura was watching? It's an actual Japanese television program. Anybody who guesses it gets ten points and your very own Millenium item! That's right, you get the Millenium Spork, hot bishounen ancient spirit included.


	3. Why Me?

Wow, so has it been like freaking forever since I updated this? Or anything else? I'll not bore you with long notes, then.

Disclaimer: The characters of Ryou, Bakura, Yûgi, Yami, Jounouchi, and Honda do not belong to me. I am borrowing them from the YuGiOh! universe, and I promise to return them with minimal amounts of damage. All other characters belong to me. So does the story. I don't mind if you borrow them, but I'd like to know about it first, and I would also like to receive them back mostly undamaged. Thank you.

Warnings: Okay, I don't understand the new rating system. Whatever. This is an R-rated piece. This chapter contains abusive and offensive language, behavior, jokes, and imagery. Really, this chapter ain't bad. Look for worse in upcoming chapters.

Chapter 3: Why Me?

I woke up face down on the kitchen floor at exactly 6:30 a.m., as I always did on schooldays. Well, I didn't always wake up face down on the kitchen floor. I stood up, grumbling to myself and stretching muscles made sore by lying all night on the cold, hard floor. It's a good thing I've never needed an alarm to wake up on time; who knows when I might actually wake up near one? Bakura leaves our body all over the place, just drops it wherever we're standing and goes to sleep. I once woke up in the middle of the woods, five miles away from home.

I cursed him as I stumbled towards the bathroom. I railed against him as I dressed myself for school. I muttered under my breath as I cooked breakfast. I thought dark thoughts as I ate. I fumed as I brushed my teeth.

My morning ritual complete, I threw on my coat, grabbed my backpack, and headed for the door.

"Knife?" inquired Bakura.

Bloody hell, I wish he wouldn't pop up silently like that. "In my pocket, like it always is, _every single day_." I glared.

He shrugged and vanished. Freak. I don't know why he always insists on us carrying the stupid pocket knife everywhere. If the teachers ever find out I'm carrying it, they'll kill me.

I walked the route to school on automatic, going over what I had to do today. Chemistry, Japanese, Japanese History... I've got an exam in Algebra today, I should probably study a bit more during lunch...

"Vessel."

Damn it! "What, Bakura?"

"Have you got English today?"

I blinked at him. "Um... yes..."

The spirit nodded. "Ah. Thought so. You might want to go back and get your book then."

I stopped abruptly. "What!"

"Well, you might need it."

I glared at him. "Why isn't it in my backpack?"

"I borrowed it last night."

I turned around and started walking hastily back to the apartment. "And why exactly did you need to borrow my English textbook?"

He rolled his eyes. "I needed _something_ to draw in."

"Argh!" I exclaimed, ignoring the looks I was getting from passersby. "I don't even _want_ to know what it was you desperately needed to draw in my English textbook!"

"Good."

"Good? Why 'good'- oh, never mind!"

I dashed up the stairs, retrieved the textbook, and dashed back down again. Hell. Now I'm running late. If I'm even going to have a _ghost_ of a chance of getting to school on time, I'm going to have to take the short cut through the park.

Well, maybe they won't be there today.

I hurried through the small park, glancing into the trees nervously. The park is basically just a small patch of woods with a few paths through it. Sometimes I see a jogger or two, but almost always there's no one there. Except for _them_. Who knows, maybe today they're off fighting some-

"Hey, it's the _girl_."

Damnation.

From out of the vegetation ahead of me stepped a large ape in a school uniform, blocking the path. Three smaller baboons appeared behind me.

The ape grinned. "Good morning, girly-boy."

"Yabusaki," I acknowledged.

"Yabusaki?" growled the oaf, narrowing his eyes.

"Yabusaki-_san_," I amended, hastily. This wasn't looking good. He was in a bad mood.

"Boss, sounds like the fairy's forgotten what good manners are," whined Baboon #1, shoving me roughly.

"I think the little faggot needs to be reminded," piped up Baboon #2.

"With our fists!" added Baboon #3, punching his hand. The baboons closed in.

"Ay, who's the boss here!" shouted Yabusaki.

The baboons froze.

"Nobody does nothing until I say so!" he shouted. "Nobody touches him, nobody says nothing, nobody does nothing, got it?" The baboons nodded quickly.

Yabusaki eyed them, then grinned. "Good," he said, and punched me in the stomach, hard.

All the air left my lungs, and I dropped to my knees. Yabusaki knelt down, grabbing my chin in his meaty hand, and holding my face close to his red, puffy, sweaty one. I gasped for breath, choking. He smelled like fish.

"Listen, Bakura-_chan_," he said, squeezing my chin, "I'm kinda in a hurry, see? I've gotta go teach the Kurohara gang a lesson in ten minutes. They think they can show their ugly faces in _my _territory..." His eyes lost focus and he growled for a few seconds. Then he blinked and returned his focus to me. "So anyways, I don't got the time to beat you properly. Maybe today I'll let you off easy. Maybe... if I received some kinda compensation?" He grinned at me, revealing several gaps in his teeth.

I stared at him, incredulously. "You're kidding. You expect me to pay you not to beat me up?"

Yabusaki's grin faded, and his eyes narrowed.

"You're not kidding. I-I think I 've got a little bit of cash on me, s-somewhere," I stuttered, hastily digging through my bookbag. I shoved a few slips of paper money at him.

He released my chin and snatched the cash, peering at the numbers. "What's this?" he growled.

"You... you wanted... money,"I gasped.

"That's all!"

"That's all I've got!" I protested.

The ape let out a roar and, grasping me by the collar, hauled me to my feet. "YOU BETTER NOT BE HOLDING OUT ON ME, BAKURA!" he yelled in my face.

"I swear, I don't have any more, I don't carry much money, I can give you something else!"

"Watcha got?" he asked, shaking me as if to shake some loose change out of my pockets.

I thought rapidly. "Uh, um, Pocky?"

He considered. "Chocolate?"

"Strawberry."

He curled a lip. "Strawberry's for fairies." He sighed. "Guess I don't got no choice. Gonna have to let you go. Until next time, Bakura-_chan_," he leered, making kissy noises at me. Then he threw me to the ground and stalked off.

The baboons took turns kicking me, then ran off to follow their leader.

"Pansy!"

"Girly-boy!"

"Fag!"

As their laughter faded into the distance, I coughed and got shakily to my feet. Brushing my clothes off, I picked up my bookbag. I glared at Bakura, who was leaning against a tree, examining his nails.

"Well I hope you're happy!" I spat.

His dark eyes flicked up towards me, his expression unreadable.

"It's you're fault I had to cut through the park!" My watch beeped. "And now I'm late for school!" I groaned.

"Stop bitching," growled Bakura. "If you weren't such a wuss, things like this wouldn't happen."

I gritted my teeth and marched toward school, fuming. The spirit drifted along behind me, humming tunelessly. As I entered school grounds, my anger turned into anxiety. Aw man, this is the third time I've been late to homeroom so far this month. Takemoto-sensei is going to kill me! Maybe I can sneak in the back without anyone noticing...

I opened the door to the classroom, and everyone turned and looked at me. I could feel sweat break out on my forehead.

Takemoto-sensei cleared his throat. "So nice of you to join us, Bakura-san."

I swallowed. "Eheh... sorry..."

He jerked his head at my desk. I nodded, hurrying to sit down, avoiding everyone's eyes. I could feel my cheeks flush.

The teacher went back to reading the morning bulletin. Yûgi, across the aisle, leaned over to whisper to me. "Hey, Ryou... you've been late a lot recently. Is everything okay?" I could see the concern in his eyes.

I flashed a smile. "Oh, you know, I just overslept again, that's all."

He frowned, opening his mouth to say more. I glanced at the teacher. He looked at Takemoto-sensei, nodded, and settled back in his seat to listen to the bulletin. I breathed a sigh of relief. Yûgi's sweet to worry about me, but the last thing I need is for him to find out that Yabusaki's been bullying me. He'd probably try to intervene and get himself hurt...

I shook my head, fixing my eyes on Takemoto-sensei at the front of the classroom. Now is not the time to be thinking about this stuff. I've got too much school stuff to deal with today. Like that test...

o o o

Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring. Why am I even here? Why don't I just take the twit's body and go do something more interesting?

Oh yeah. Because there's nothing else to do. Everywhere else is boring, too. Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring.

I was lying on my back, draped across some kid's desk, staring at the world upside-down. I flipped over. Nope, it's just as boring right-side up. I turned and looked at the kid who was busily taking notes through the small of my back. I poked my fingers through his eyes, imagining him screaming and bleeding all over the place. I showed my fangs. Now there's a nice thought. My thoughts changed to the image of the pharoah screaming and bleeding from empty eye sockets. Even better. I turned and looked at the teacher.

"...rhyme will help you to remember spelling rules. 'I before E, except after C, or sounding like A, as in neighbor or weigh.' There are, of course, a few exceptions to this rule, like 'weird' and..."

I stuck out my tongue. Ecch. English. What a vulgar language. I turned my attentions to the twit, sitting at the desk next to me and studiously taking notes. His brow was furrowed in a thoughtful expression. I shook my head. I swear, I think this kid actually _likes_ this learning stuff. Who needs to read or write or speak in foreign tongues? Everything I ever needed to know I learned in the back alleys of Cairo.

Well, anyway, I was bored, and the twit was going to entertain me. I hopped off the desk and stood peering into his face, only a few inches away. He gave no sign of having noticed me.

I stared at him for a second. "Hey, vessel, I've got a riddle for you. Wanna hear it?" He frowned slightly, but continued to take notes. I bared my fangs. "How do you titillate an ocelot?" No reaction. I wiggled my eyebrows. "You oscillate his tits alot."

The twit choked violently, dropping his pencil on the ground. Several students sitting near to him gave him strange looks. The pharoah's brat looked concerned. The twit hurriedly retrieved his pencil and scribbled furiously, ducking his head low in an attempt to hide his face, which had become a quite interesting shade of red. Like azuki bean paste. No, not that dark. More like a tomato. A slightly squishy one.

Heh, well _that_ was an interesting reaction. Must have been a good riddle. Hell, I don't even know what it means. I should ask Malik sometime...

o o o

Wonderful. Now everyone in class thinks I'm a freak. As if the ocelot incident wasn't bad enough, I opened up my English textbook to find the reading for the day completely obliterated by Bakura's detailed lifelike drawing in red Sharpie of himself conducting a vivisection of Yami. I must have made some sort of strangled gurgling noise because Kawabata-sensei picked me to read first. So of course I had to explain that I couldn't read the text because someone had drawn in my textbook. Sensei walked over to look, gave a start, and picked it up to look more closely. Half the class saw. Yûgi looked traumatized but at least he understands. I mumbled something about "Just wait 'til I find out who did it..." so sensei let me go with just a few startled glances, but I swear he looked like he was going to send me to the counselor. Luckily class ended a few minutes after that and I was able to escape up to the roof for lunch.

I stared fixedly at my bento lunch. Or rather, I stared fixedly _not_ at Bakura, who was leaning idly against the wall, his unreadable eyes resting upon me. Bloody bastard. Thanks to him, I won't be able to show my face for weeks. I can just imagine the rumors spreading about "that psycho-boy, Bakura Ryou"; I can just see the looks they'll give me in class–– Blast! I've got Algebra next! I've gotta study!

I pulled out my Algebra book and began hastily crunching numbers. I skimmed over the chapter, working sample problems and occasionally checking my watch. Curses! Lunch is almost over! I forgot about eating, concentrating solely on the math.

I was in the middle of a similar-triangles problem when Bakura started humming. I completely lost my ability to concentrate. Something about the timbre of his voice was very irritating.

"Bakura, would you _stop_ _humming_!" I snapped. He stopped, glaring at me. I turned back to the problem. A few seconds later, he began singing loudly to the same tune. I slammed my book shut.

"Bakura, SHUT UP! I'm trying to study for my bloody Algebra test! You're going to make me fail! AARGH, you do this EVERY TIME! Everywhere I go, everything I do, you're always there, messing things up! Why don't you just go away? Just get out of my hair, would you!"

The spirit stalked over to me, yelling in my face. "IF I COULD LEAVE, I WOULD! Do you think I _want_ to hang around all the time, picking my nose while you waste your life away in this miserable purgatory you call a school? I am bored out of my mind, watching you and your pitiful, pimple-faced classmates licking the feet of these so-called teachers so you can grow up to become just another slave-drone in that fucked up torture chamber of a society! If I can think of a worse punishment for having been born, I'll let you know! Meanwhile, I HOPE YOU FAIL!"

He vanished into the ring, just as the school bell announced the end of lunch period. Cursing, I shoved my books into my bag and, tossing the remains of my bento lunch into a trash can, I hurried to class. What does he want from me? It's not my job to entertain him. Let him sulk in a corner; at least this way he's quiet.

I fumed my way through the math test. If I got any sort of acceptable grade on it, as distracted as I was, it'll be some kind of miracle. I didn't even care. I just wanted to get out of school and go home. This was turning into the worst day ever.

Class ended as I was staring at the last problem on the test. I hastily scribbled down an answer and turned it in. I grabbed my stuff and followed the rest of my classmates downstairs. P.E. Hell. Can life get any better? I thought briefly about skipping and just going home. I shook off the thought. I can't afford to start skipping class! I'll just have to bear with it.

On top of everything else, we were playing basketball. I don't even like sports, and basketball is my least favorite sport on the planet. Oh, and Yabusaki and his goons, who hadn't deigned to show up for classes all day, decided to make an appearance for P.E. They spent the entire time "accidentally" knocking me down. And they were _on_ my team. Between them and oni on the opposing team, I got a fair number of bruises.

When I was about ready to collapse, class ended and I limped my way back to the locker room. _Finally_. I can go _home_. I tried to change hurriedly, but I was so tired... I thought ahead to my classes the next day. No tests... wow, I actually did all my work for tomorrow ahead of time! That means I can go to sleep as soon as I get-

"Gaaaaaaaacccccckkk!" I exclaimed, spinning around to see Yabusaki's ugly, leering face. _He just grabbed my ass!_

"Nice playing, pretty boy," he sneered. Then he shoved me backwards into the locker, hard. I yelped as the back of my head smacked against metal.

"Ay, get da hell outta here, ya punk!" Jounouchi appeared out of nowhere, shoving Yabusaki roughly.

"Hey, Ryou, you all right?" There was a hand on my shoulder. It was Honda. I nodded. "Hey Yabusaki, you need someone to shove around, why don't you try it on me, 'uh?" he shouted.

"I'll take you two momma's boys on any day!" he shouted back.

Jounouchi got right in his face. "Well come on den, Yabusaki, I got nothin' better ta do dis afternoon den pound yer ugly face into da ground. I'll beat yer ass right now, come on!"

Yabusaki's gaze flickered between the scowling faces of Jounouchi and Honda. "Screw it," he exclaimed, "you two losers ain't worth my time. I'm outta here!" He gave Jounouchi a push, shooting me a dirty look before turning and stalking away.

"Yeah dat's right, and don't come back!" shouted Jounouchi, shaking his fist. He spat, then turned to me, concern softening his features. "Are ya okay, Ryou buddy?"

I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah, I'm fine, Jou. Thanks you guys." I smiled weakly.

"No problem, bud," said Honda. "If he bothers you again, you just let us know, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll punch 'im so hard he'll wake up las' Tuesday!" agreed Jou, punching the air.

I smiled again, grabbing my stuff. "Thanks. See you later, okay?" I rushed out the door, hurrying home. Aw man, why'd they have to see that? I didn't want them to know he was picking on me. And they're probably going to tell Yûgi, and he'll start worrying... What did Yabusaki have to show up for anyway? That was absolutely the last thing I needed today! I growled in frustration. "What does he want from me? Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"I know why he hates you, vessel," said Bakura.

I almost jumped out of my skin. I swear, out of nowhere, every time. "Why?" I asked.

He turned and looked at me through half-lidded, unreadable eyes. "He hates you because he's attracted to you."

I choked. "You've _got_ to be kidding." He stared at me. "Yabusaki? _Gay_? He's got to be the most homophobic person I know!"

The spirit blinked slowly. "It's the typical virile male thing. He can't afford to appear gay in front of his friends, so he puts up an anti-gay front. He actually begins to hate homosexuals. He hates himself for being gay. He's in denial, so he takes it out on you to avoid examining himself."

I stared at him. "You've gone completely mad. Since when are you a psychologist?"

"A whatagist?"

"Never mind. You're crazy. I don't buy it. No way is Yabusaki attracted to me." I shuddered at the thought.

There was silence for a moment. Then, "You shouldn't let scum like him mess with you. You're better than him and his scum-sucking cronies. You shouldn't have to take that kind of crap."

I turned and looked at him. He really has gone mad. "Excuse me? _You_ bother me all the time."

"That's different."

"I fail to see how!" I exclaimed, incredulous.

He flashed his fangs. "The difference is, vessel, you can't stop me." He narrowed his eyes. "The oaf is a weakling. A slimy leech like him shouldn't be allowed to speak to you, much less put his grubby hands on you."

Okay, now I am thoroughly confused. Since when does _he_ care what the hell happens to me? I glanced at his face, but, like a mask, it gave nothing away.

I stared at the sidewalk. Bloody ridiculous. Someone _else_ wants to abuse me and he gets all territorial. Whatever. I just want to go to sleep.

Notes:

Wow, an original character! Can't say I'm proud to have invented him. I had difficulty with his name. I know a lot of Japanese people so it's difficult to come up with a name that does not have associations along with it. So I had to think of someone that I disliked enough to give their name to this character. If you are reading this and your last name is Yabusaki, you may have been a real bitch to me and my yami in 9th grade. Congratulations, hope you like your namesake.

Heh, the joke you can blame on my yami. Or actually, her mom. I just decided it needed to be in the story. Yami apologizes.

P.E. was such a horrible class. I enjoy sports, but P.E. was just stupid. We played basketball all the time, and it's my least favorite sport. And there were some nasty people that were out to get me, I swear. By the by, an oni is a Japanese demon or ogre. Big hairy beasts. Appropriate, I thought.

I know that Jounouchi doesn't actually speak with a New York accent like he does in the dub. I just think he would speak in some sort of rough Japanese accent (Kansai mebbe?) and this is the best American English equivalent. And Ryou doesn't actually speak like a Brit. I just enjoy the bloody hell's way too much.

Erm, I hope the psychologist Bakura wasn't way too extremely OOC. I just really wanted to stick that in there. And he strikes me as someone who has a lot of those kinds of random surprises.


End file.
